wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
