break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize