Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
