20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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