I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's never too late to be topless.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Your penis caused this!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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