i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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