there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize