dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
