What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
