The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
