I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My first STD was from a foam party
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
