And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
