i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I enjoy the company of your penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
