Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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