Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
this hospital has no fireball
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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