if you like me you must not know who I am
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
