That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
