And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
