You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
