I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
