My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
