Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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