batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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