Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i now understand why vodka
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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