There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
