I cannot find my penis.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
