I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize