yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
