Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
