He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
