and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
