There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
