Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
