my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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