Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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