I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
And then he peed in my hair
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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