Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
