I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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