fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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