I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
