I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize