Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
