Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
