Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
