I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
