Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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