yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
40s are totally the cure
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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