Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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