Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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