dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
