i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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