This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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