you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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