That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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