I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
