This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
