Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
