after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
