Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
