I want to stick my p in your. b.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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