Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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