Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize