It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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