Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
