Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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