It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
