you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
