Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
