i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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