I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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