he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
