can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Houston, we have a blender
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
